My Kids Don't Want to Go Outside: The Autumn Adventure That Changed That

Two very different children, one thing they agree on: neither wants to get wet or muddy. Here's how we turned reluctant autumn walks into family adventures.

I have two very different children.

One is wild, adventurous, and usually ready to jump into something new. The other is more careful, likes to know what to expect, and prefers to take things at their own pace.

But there's one thing they completely agree on.

Neither of them likes getting wet or dirty.

Which is slightly inconvenient when you live in the Netherlands, where autumn seems to consist of rain, more rain, and the occasional twenty minutes without rain.

And if I'm being completely fair, I don't particularly enjoy heading out into the drizzle either.

So when the rain finally stops, or it's only raining a little, getting everyone outside can feel like a negotiation nobody really wants to have.

“Shall we go for a walk?”

No.

“Just for a little while?”

Still no.

“Come on, some fresh air will be good for us.”

Definitely no.

And I can't really blame them. A walk in the damp and cold isn't exactly an exciting invitation.

So we stopped asking them to go outside

Instead, we started saying something different.

“You each get to choose one Explorer Adventure.”

That's it.

No convincing them that fresh air is healthy. No explaining why we shouldn't spend another afternoon indoors. No promises that we'll be back in twenty minutes.

Each child gets to choose an adventure, and then we go and do both.

And the surprising thing?

It really works.

My adventurous child gets to choose something that sparks their curiosity. My more careful child gets to make their own choice, knowing what we're going to do.

Neither is simply being dragged along on somebody else's walk.

And because they each choose an adventure, they both have something to look forward to.

Suddenly, we're not taking a walk. We're on a mission.

This is the part I enjoy most.

We're not just two parents trying to get two reluctant children outside.

We're a team of explorers.

We have missions to complete, things to discover, and sometimes unexpected problems to solve along the way.

A wet path becomes somewhere to investigate. A fallen leaf might be worth a closer look. Something ordinary that we would normally walk straight past suddenly becomes interesting.

And I find myself paying more attention too.

Instead of thinking about how cold it is, how long we've been outside, or whether we should head home, I'm curious about what we'll discover next.

Of course, we still wear coats and boots. Nobody suddenly develops a love for wet socks. And some days the weather really is too miserable.

But the feeling of going outside has changed.

We're doing something together, rather than trying to persuade the children to do something we think is good for them.

Why giving them a choice makes such a difference

I've noticed something about my children.

They don't necessarily dislike being outside. They dislike the idea of going outside without a reason that matters to them.

And they don't always want the same thing.

One wants excitement. The other wants to know what they're getting into.

By letting them each choose an adventure, we make room for both.

There is also something different about a shared mission.

I'm not standing on the sidelines telling them what to look for. I'm looking with them. We notice things together, ask questions, and sometimes end up following an entirely different trail from the one we expected.

That's what I love about these little adventures.

They don't require an elaborate plan, special equipment, or a whole afternoon.

Just something interesting enough to make us all want to step outside.

Something simple to try this weekend

Next time your children resist going outside, try changing the invitation.

Instead of asking whether they want to go for a walk, tell them you're going on an explorer mission.

Let each child choose one thing they'd like to investigate or discover.

Maybe they want to find five different autumn colours. Maybe they want to discover where rainwater goes after a shower. Or perhaps they want to find the strangest-looking leaf in the neighbourhood.

Give everyone a role, including yourself.

Then head out together and see where the mission takes you.

You don't have to walk far. You don't even have to finish everything you planned.

The point isn't to complete a perfect outdoor activity.

It's to turn an ordinary moment into something you're genuinely sharing.

And sometimes, that's enough to get everyone through the front door.

A little help getting started

Our explorer missions became such a useful part of our family life that I turned the idea into Explorer Trails: 12 ready-to-use outdoor adventures designed to spark curiosity, discovery, and connection.

No elaborate preparation. No complicated materials. Just an adventure to choose and a reason to head outside together.

If getting everyone out of the house sometimes feels like the hardest part of your weekend, you might enjoy having a few missions ready to go.

Explore the Explorer Trails Edition →

Julia

Julia Penning de Vries is a pediatrician, mother of two, and creator of the Mind Adventure Method. She writes about simple, zero-prep ways to build everyday connection with your child.